Wednesday, October 22, 2008

and prejudice...

When I think of all the times I sat back and took the verbal crap that people said about me with a certain amount of dignity, I thought it was because I was the better person. I couldn't understand why I was such an easy target, but I let it slide.

Even I have my limits though, and tonight, I could see the finish line. I was far more angry than my company realised, and frankly, even if they did realise, they'd laugh it off because they probably wouldn't believe anything would come of it. Sometimes, though, it truly is the straw that breaks the camel's back - one seemingly insignificant comment in the tirade of attention-seeking words, that makes me look with different eyes, that makes me realise I have too much pride for this, that if things don't change, then maybe it's finally time to walk away.

It's hard when you know someone cares, but you still don't understand why they behave the way they do. Yet when it comes to choosing between someone that challenges you, or someone that acquiesces to everything you say or do, I know which one I choose.

So maybe it's time I became that person. The person they deserve to be with, or are expected to be with. Someone who has the confidence to tell you to fuck off when you need to be told. Someone who doesn't follow you around like a puppydog, who is strong enough to say that she'd rather sit at home watching a movie than sitting around with you. Who isn't selective about who she goes out of her way for.

Maybe you won't like that person, or recognise her in me, but I'm sure I can pull it off. If only because I have too much pride to let you be right in this moment, too much pride to let you win this battle. This little black duck has far too much at stake to let this go now.

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