and prejudice...

When I think of all the times I sat back and took the verbal crap that people said about me with a certain amount of dignity, I thought it was because I was the better person. I couldn't understand why I was such an easy target, but I let it slide.

Even I have my limits though, and tonight, I could see the finish line. I was far more angry than my company realised, and frankly, even if they did realise, they'd laugh it off because they probably wouldn't believe anything would come of it. Sometimes, though, it truly is the straw that breaks the camel's back - one seemingly insignificant comment in the tirade of attention-seeking words, that makes me look with different eyes, that makes me realise I have too much pride for this, that if things don't change, then maybe it's finally time to walk away.

It's hard when you know someone cares, but you still don't understand why they behave the way they do. Yet when it comes to choosing between someone that challenges you, or someone that acquiesces to everything you say or do, I know which one I choose.

So maybe it's time I became that person. The person they deserve to be with, or are expected to be with. Someone who has the confidence to tell you to fuck off when you need to be told. Someone who doesn't follow you around like a puppydog, who is strong enough to say that she'd rather sit at home watching a movie than sitting around with you. Who isn't selective about who she goes out of her way for.

Maybe you won't like that person, or recognise her in me, but I'm sure I can pull it off. If only because I have too much pride to let you be right in this moment, too much pride to let you win this battle. This little black duck has far too much at stake to let this go now.

I hate to resort to lyrics. But tonight is a no-brainer. And too much homework. And too much whisky. So fuck it. This works just as well.

These days you barely even say my name,
Like you don’t really feel the same,
I’m wondering what’s to blame,
These nights I fall asleep wondering where you are,
It feels like we’re falling apart,
And it’s only breaking my heart,
Cause if being with you means being alone,
And never knowing when you’re coming home,
Then I guess I’m better off on my own,

Chorus
But I can’t move on,
Cause that makes forgetting, forgetting everything we’ve had
Instead I keep coming, keep coming, I keep running back
Cause I keep forgetting, forgetting you treat me so bad
So I keep coming, keep coming, I keep running back
I keep coming back
I keep coming back
I keep coming back
I keep coming back

My friends say that I should leave you behind,
And stop wasting all my time,
They tell me that I am out of my mind,

But I know that what we both share is real,
And I’ve been willing to deal,
With the way that you’re making me feel,

Cause if being with you means being alone,
And never knowing when you’re coming home,
Then I guess I’m better off on my own,

Chorus
But I can’t move on,
Cause that makes me forgetting, forgetting everything we’ve had
Instead I keep coming, keep coming, I keep running back
Cause I keep forgetting, forgetting you treat me so bad
So I keep coming, keep coming, I keep running back
I keep coming back
I keep coming back
I keep coming back
I keep coming back